Let me be clear:
Having a book tour anywhere would be mind-blowingly spectacular. Really, anywhere. An elementary school cafeteria (tater tots will be served). Your basement (right between your dusty lego collection and that yoga mat you promise you’re going to start using). Oh, yeah, and a bookstore!
But what if it could be an outrageous, anything-goes book tour?
Well.
We’d start things off classy, say here:

Can I be honest with you? Once my outrageous book tour ended, I’d just come back to live here.
Then we’d jet over to Venice and spend an afternoon in this delightful place. Because boats and bathtubs, of course.

After having our fill of tortelli, polenta, and gondolas, we’d head north, to Norway:
I’d sign books at a summer farm (hello, atmospheric) and then again on the deck of a longship replica after my guests and I practice rowing, sailing, and leaping to shore, ready to raid.
Then we’d follow the Vikings west and make landfall in England. Our first stop?

Why? I say, why not.
A trip down to London would bring us to these fine establishments:


Tea would be served at Daunt Books. But a bookstore on a barge definitely calls for cask ale. And pretzels. Big, soft, homemade ones.
And then?
Check back tomorrow for Part 2 and find out where my books and I would go after London!